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Fucking What the Hell Am I Doing

by Ethan Uhl

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1.
self help books (free) 01:48
and i've been missing those days when livin was so easy now life seems cut short and like a flower in the spring time i'm opening up please don't forget me don't forget you mean a lot to me
2.
beer gut (free) 01:26
a lot of things i miss i miss about you and how your eyes always seem to stare towards the moon and how we used to talk, now we can't even get along now we sleep in separate beds with recurring dreams we can't forget come back to me, i swear i'll keep my eyes on the ground or at least on you
3.
killing myself would be too easy at this point and everything else seems like a quick escape for something that won't matter in the end and then there's you wrapped up in blankets in my memories i've been trying see you or what is left, cause it seems like there's nothing when i say that i love you well i wish you would believe me because i meant it now more than ever well i believed in you for two years too long
4.
gardenback (free) 01:32
well you were more than a little bit drunk and i was more than a little bit sober looking over our shoulders in the pauses when we'd talk and you'd laugh and i'd laugh we'd go on and on all night now those days are gone and i don't talk to anyone stay inside alone and hate everything i've become 20 years older and never a day when i didn't want to take it all back well i never remember anything
5.
medivacation (free) 02:08
i'm scared as fuck of turning cold, bitter and dark running out of love just like my parents did, my parents would i shy away from small affection and easy escapes my hate half baked just to prove to myself that i can stay i've been staring at walls trying to see right through them breaking my knuckles in the alley of the mall throwing up scared in the quick of my car and god how i cave and god how i cave but it never stays when you turn away it holds and stays and it never decays, it never decays and my eyes always white and my stare always constant and even my best friends think that i finally lost it screaming to no one in the dark realizing that you were right "you're too scared to succeed so you'll never try"
6.
wide awake (free) 01:52
and i hate the wreck i've become when you are not around and i've heard everything but you were the loneliest sound pretend to love me and i will love you back and i can't regret that i never gave you back why can't i run away so please love me like you used to sing me a happy song and i will sing along sing me a happy song and i will sing alone
7.
stomach pump (free) 02:14
i shaved the top half of my leg just to feel what it would be like to be unencumbered and as i scratched my sleep away, i begged for any sort of escape and now ruining myself is just a way i get around now no matter how ugly it is, i feel myself clawing into my skin and pushing you out of me, just so you could get some sleep and most days i have no excuse for how i have treated you but i don't want to talk, i just want to feel your hand on my hand
8.
password (free) 01:54
who would have thought that i'd gotten this far picking the little dipper out of the sky i keep pressing on to nowhere trying to say and do everything right i just want to wake up one day and not have to rub my memories out of my eyes these modern lies keep crawling into my throat these changes keep blocking the ways i would go burning my hands, breaking my fingers knowing full well that i'll never see her again and again there's a lot of things i miss i miss about you and the way your eyes would always say killing myself would be too easy at this point

about

started out as a project when i didn't have a guitar and had to stay in denver for a few days, but now it's a full ep of sorts.

credits

released January 5, 2012

eric sings on beer gut for a little, i sample a lot of movies and a lot of game drum sounds

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Ethan Uhl Missoula, montana

how self-obsessed can you get

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