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I Don't Want to Fight Anymore

by Ethan Uhl

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1.
Infinityland 01:42
i didnt wanna become this become anything at all i wanted to be the color in the paintings on your wall i wanted be the flowers you kept on your windowsill i wanted to be your song and now i never will you'd sing it in in the summer with your friends out by the fire i wanted to be that cheer i wanted to be your desire i wanted to be you drunk smiling with big, dark eyes i feel like a liar wearing a thin disguise
2.
Battle Theme 02:35
and now i feel weightless like god could erase this and i know it's my purpose but it grows and it hurts us like its always been there in you wouldnt i have run if it was abuse you said i only wrote about death and the things i always want but cant have i thought there was something good inside of my head but all it is is songs about death and now i feel hated and torn from this place that was my home i am always on my own luck make me into sweetness so i can forget this and lay down god i wish i could chill out you said i only wrote about death and the things i always want but cant have i thought there was something good inside of my head but all it is is songs about death
3.
Grew is Me 02:56
sure i was young then, but i feel much younger now laying long enough i became your cloud i felt the rain drop through my fingers, writing your tears on the page watchin fievel goes west and falling asleep fell back into this bad, bad dream the one where you become an angel and i just stare and ache cuz you, you were my home and i was broken stomachs lined with heat til they were golden all my material things just end up stolen and you, you were my home you were my home x 2
4.
pink rooms in black houses and little paper bags visions and reminders of the life i used to have when i was finally faithless when i wanted to believe that all this love i had was real love meant for me i never wanted to live in secret i never wanted to be forgot til the day you found me out and left me in my room to rot i never thought i would feel so angry i never thought i would hate this world never thought i would pin everything on the shoulders of just one girl i wanna believe in people because people believe in me because most of you are here not out of spite or jealousy we could be air we could be ice the tension thick as steel i wanted everything for just once to seem kind of real i never wanted to live in secret i never wanted to be forgot til the day you found me out and left me in my room to rot i never thought i would feel so angry i never thought i would hate this world never thought i would pin everything on the shoulders of just one girl
5.
if i could i would kill the sun watch the snow erase everyone i feel so guilty all the time im so happy i never speak my mind all the hate thats in my head just builds and rots my teeth instead i wrote these songs to admit my sins no redemption in any of it i haven't got one friend left now i'm delusional and selfish and i know i know i know i know i should be responsible ible ible ible but there isn't anything that could help this it's just fire it's just fire and i cant breathe (scream) if i could just sleep forget everything would you come back if i gave it all away if i left this place would you come back all these things i dreamed o f when i was a just little kid became all the things i regretted i ever did all these songs just a waste of time all of my lies, became half of my life all the waiting for me to thrive was just little drops of time if i could i would kill the sun watch the snow erase everyone i feel so guilty all the time im so happy i never speak my mind all the hate thats in my head just builds and rots my teeth instead i wrote these songs to admit my sins no redemption in any of it don't worry you always worry and call nothing wrong at all
6.
Sleepman 01:44
you only liked me when i was drunk i only liked that you pretended to listen and once i was all washed up you realized you'd never miss me you were the brights i was the radio i sang you songs while you looked how far you had to go and all of the curtains and all of the windows flew open for the world to see the walls laid empty the house now quiet it was you there without me art aint something you buy into and i guess thats what ive learned im not an artist for being sad no one will ever hear the words the ones i dreamed would land me on stages would connect me to everyone they're just text files on my desktop they're just free downloads on bandcamp
7.
Get Mendoza 02:57
go write another zine about how you built this scene can't wait to see your poems about how much you hate me im hypocrite, im a lying dick im too fucking old to argue this but when i was diy at least i did it at least im here, a world in my head and you all just want me dead and most times i do too im freaking out, im shaking now im too fucking scared to leave the house there's nothing to stand up for i don't wanna fight anymore i don't want to hate or beg i wish i could be your friend i wish i hold your hand i wish it was that simple i wish i could see any kindness in me i wish i could leave i wanna fly out of the frame try and forget about this place become the time etched in your hate i looked around and saw nothing inside of me, there is a dream there is a hope, there is a plea that one day we can agree it was all for nothing it all comes down to pride and i'll set that shit aside if you will look me in the eye and say what you're sorry for but instead we hide behind all the bitterness and lies i just wanna fucking die i don't wanna fight anymore
8.
Endgame 02:39
i could be wasteful or i could get stronger i could be the doomguy walk down empty hallways hear my own footsteps echo off the glass staring at these pictures of what we had i could call your name out til my throat tears up all of my screams sounds of building blood i feel like im turning into something lighter the radio static headlights on the highway i put my hand up it melted through the wall stared into the darkness like it was my fault i picked up your body as my knees start to shake i became the worlds final mistake my stomach lined with gold oo-oo how can i feel relief with guilt surrounding me i am wraith, i am a haunting thing i wanna feel your hope but i just sink
9.

about

a pop album about an eternal weight

credits

released January 15, 2016

ethan - famitracker, vocals
morgan - vocals

pop goddess athena - remix of team from hell
soundcloud.com/popgoddessathena

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Ethan Uhl Missoula, montana

how self-obsessed can you get

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