there was never any conflict
you deserved it all
i was young and i was jealous
and now can't even recall
i am sorry for who i am
you could have hated me with me
since i breathed until breathing
was a responsibility

i could have taken me out
i could have climbed the ladder up
but like your blooming into greatness
i swallowed my own blood
i didn't want to lose this fight
but i was kickboxing a ghost
of maybe my reflection
at this point who would know

my pride was a bone broke
my wants unclear and vague
i pretended i had patience
but slept under all this weight
but if i apologize
i'll have to give it all up
and i don't want to give in
i want god to punch me in the gut

i'm a fucking hypocrite
under skin i just lay bare
hibernating in self pity
pretending i'm aware
that one day i'll die
and this will all be for naught
i want to relax for two seconds
i want to be fucked

will you hear me
building feared sleep
doubting repeats
under failed dreams

i am here
i am done
even through all of this poetry
i am still my fathers son
i'll never change and i won't try
every word's a bitter lie
you told me this was my diary
well i feel secretive tonight

i'm looking for an exit
wanna change everything about me
i wanna move so far away
i want to float in a dead sea
i want the guilt to eat me up
i want to burn for the inside
i want to list the reasons how
and never state the whys
i wanna live like i could die
i wanna face what's left in life
i want failure in the flight
fuck my name for i'm just K.I.
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye (to a few)